Have You Ever...

...stood in a hospital clinic room with sterile surgical gloves laid out before you, donned those surgical gloves, then, with your mouth salivating in protest to the copper smell of blood, your body tingling with sweat, stapled your kid's head? Well, I HAVE!!
It was hand's down the grossest (and coolest) thing I've ever done. Here's the breakdown:

Carlie is having the summer blues. Kids are constantly in need of something. Constantly. I beg, yes beg, Chris to take the kids to the pool so I can have an hour to myself. I settle in with my bowl of snacks, a drink, and a "Mom Only" DVR show. 10 minutes later, I get a call from Chris saying we've got to take Brooklyn to the hospital. She split her head open trying to do a back flip off the side of the pool.

I give money to the neighbor to get the kids a pizza. We head to Martin AH. It's past working hours, the ER is jammed, so we head up to the Ortho clinic. No nurses or other support staff available, so I become honorary nurse. There was a moment when Chris thought we might have to cut/shave her hair to get clean borders. I said, "Over my dead body". (I really did). The girls in this family don't have a great history of notable hair growth, and the cut is on the crown of her head. Well, needless to say, the washout, the needles, the staple gun...it will all be the most effective diet I have ever pursued. I don't know that I'll eat again (At least until my nightly ice-cream when the kids are in bed).